~Reminiscent~

July 5, 2010

I'm so sorry....
POSTED AT 01:07 AM

Sigh... This is an entry that I really did not want to write. But can't seem to get it off my mind until I spill it out somewhere... Although I would say that I did deserve it though...

Yesturday, while I was enjoying the moment of teasing my friend, I actually offended her by accident. Although she didn't take offense in what I said, apparently her other friends thought it was thoughtless and heartless of me to say that...

She told me that apparently I have offended some other friends of mine some other times too... with my careless and thoughtless words... It made me really really sad... cus I thought I had cured that flaw of mine... but apparently I have not... I was almost in tears when I know that I hurt my friends by accident, because I was enjoying the moment so much that I forgot to watch my words.

As for why I didn't want to write this entry, cus right now my heart is breaking as I write this.... and tears seem to just keep coming out...

It just reminded me of how much I am like the other two girls I mentioned in my previous entry. I totally do not want to be like them at all... But I seemed to have fail to do so...

I once a long time ago, when I was young, did the same thing. I spoke without restraint and hurt a lot of people, including my friends... So I changed... it was before I started this blog.... and it took me about a year or two to change.... I had always wished that I changed for the better and will not relapse again...

I have always admired people who could joke and tease people and become even more popular with others. So I have always strived to change and become like them... But apparently it's not so easy to change... Most people who read this might say that I'm actually crying over little things, and an apology will surfice...

I would say that to most it is something small, but to me its big, cus my whole life having been revolving around me and my careless words... I have lost friends before because of my words... and because of that I decided to change... and even more so this time round I offended a very good friend of mine...

My mum have always said that with the way I speak and act, I'll definitely chase all my friends away and not have any close friends... I always wished that it would not be true... but apparently it is...

Sometime I wish I can just go to a psych and get my personality analysed or smthing to see whether there is something wrong with me... So that I can get help fixing it... But if I told that to my mum she will probably think I'm mad or worry like crazy... But really I wish I can just remove that stupid part of me... so that I can be nicer to everyone else... like the main characters of the stories that I read, they have really wierd characteristics sometimes, but they are really nice to people and people like them in return... But I guess stories are fiction and will never come true in real life...

Damn... now I'm really depressed... and the stupid tears keep coming out... sigh....

Currently feeling: sorry

CrAp Me OuT

June 17, 2010

An entry after a long long time...
POSTED AT 01:26 AM

snowfire

Wow!! Its been almost a year since I blogged. It isn't because I don't remember that I have a blog, but more of that I couldn't afford the time. Any rest time I have, I was literally resting...

The Reason?

Animation Final Year Project...

And Why?

Cus to have a good FYP to present to the industry, and in my portfolio, I literally eat, sleep and breath FYP... Which in some ways is fun, and in others, it totally sucks big time....

Basically, today is exactly 1 week before the actually showing of our FYP to the invited industry people and our family and friends... Of course, it's a "By Invitation Only" show, as it would be bad if we show it to public, cus we would end up killing our own chances of sending our animations into festivals. It's a rule that animations that send to festivals are not suppose to be shown to public before hand.

Well, anyway, back to the subject of FYP... So how's everyone's progress? Let just say that groups that actually 100% completed their animation are in the minority... And my group? Is in the majority section....

So how? Well, to try to get as much out as possible for the showing, I have been camping in the Uncommon Lab for almost 2 months. Although I do go home every week to get more clothes...

And why do I need to do that? Cus my lovely team-mates decided that it is a good time to go for their graduation trips even before they finish their work.... =_=lll So yeah... I have to work double time to make up for it... And wad's worse is that they don't have the self-awareness that they are throwing all the work to me...

I have already been super angry and pissed with them for the pass 3 months... But this literally top over everything else they did to me in the past 3 months... One team-mate went to Europe for her grad-trip for 1 month, and when she returned, the other went off for her grad-trip, and she is only returning the day AFTER the graduation show... And on the rare days that they come to school to do FYP, they start bossing me about and asking me to do this and that and expect me to finish my own part on top of everything else...

WOW!!! I'm so shocked!! I'm actually super-girl, I didn't know that I don't need to sleep and eat and breath and rest... >_>

My team-mate actually told me this, "Hey I'll wake you up when I go to school in the afternoon, otherwise you will sleep the whole day away again like yesturday..."

HELLO??? You went home yesturday night and had a full night sleep and only came in the Lab in the afternoon. As for me? I was up all night till late morning doing work before I fell aslp till the afternoon and you say I sleep the day away?!!! Where the hell is your brain? Can't you calculate the number of hours you are sleeping as compared to mine?!!

Damn it!! Really feel like slapping her in the face and screaming what I have suffered from them from the past 3 months...

Sigh... Oh well I shall end my entry here and go back to work...

Will probably be back soon with a new entry... =)

Currently feeling: tired~~

CrAp Me OuT

September 14, 2009

忙しい～～
POSTED AT 01:46 AM

snowfire

Mah... its been such a busy 1st month of schl that I don't even remb that I have a blog till pea reminded me... haha...

So wad am I so busy about? Well, I'm currently in my 4th year (can't believe it!!) and still taking full load of modules for this semester... so I am kinda going kinda crazy right now...

I am suppose to continue with my driving practical lessons, but I always collapse with exhaustion during the weekends... so.... ehehehe..

I wanna hall!!!!!!!!!

I need a hall!!!!!!!!!

Cus trying to do 4th year with full load of modules, plus FYP, plus travelling for 3hrs to and fro between home and schl, equals: I'm probably gonna collapse during the semester break... sigh....

And for some reason, my lingering cough from 1.5 month ago have to gone away... due to the reason that one day on my way to schl, a tree fell across the road, so no bus could enter or exit the university. So all passengers have to get off and walk... which is not much of a problem except that it was pouring outside, and the roads were flooded and my pants was soaked up to my thighs... So me and my friend ended up 1 hour late for my FYP class (luckily my notified the prof beforehand) and I had to sit in the aircon studio with my wet clothes and eat my already ice cold lunch while presenting my work to the prof.... -_-lll

Sigh... I need a hall... and so far I cant find anyone to let my squat in there room.... sigh.... really need to stay in hall...

Currently feeling: ....

CrAp Me OuT